Designing A Simple Life With Minimalism
When we create mental breathing space and learn to say no, we eliminate the non-essentials to better focus on what is essential to us.
Wouldn't it be nice to live a simpler life and reclaim time and energy to do the things that really matter to us?
Many of us are drawn to the idea of “cottagecore” living, a lifestyle that has gained popularity in recent years. This lifestyle, which celebrates a simple, unadorned country living harmonised with nature, offers the allure of ample free time for hobbies, gardening, and wilderness expeditions. It's a dreamy escape from our fast-paced urban lifestyles, offering a chance to reclaim time and energy for the things that truly matter to us.
I spoke to someone who recently made the move to a “cabin in the woods”. His experience, in many ways, mirrors our own:
Life is still life. I adore this place, and life has certainly improved, but it’s not a miracle. I’m still me; I brought my bad habits with me. I’m still on my phone too much. I get tired and opt for a pizza in the oven instead of washing, cutting and cooking vegetables from the garden, and they grow poorly. Work is demanding; I argue over chores with my partner. These struggles are not unique to me; we all need this, we all need healing. Taking a walk in the woods to aid with that is a blessing, a chance for personal growth and healing.
— Honest words from someone who’s living the cottagecore life.
Now, imagine if I told you that we could replicate the essence of “cottagecore” living just by incorporating a few key habits into our daily routines? That’s the journey we will embark on in this edition of Hustle Heads.
🥜 In A Nutshell
When you create a “mental breathing space”, learn to say no, and eliminate the non-essentials, then we are on track to live a simpler life.
Essentialism is about finding what really matters the most to us and stripping away all the rest. It is about making time for the vital few rather than the trivial many.
Endowment Effect is about asking yourself if it’s essential or not. Imagine you don’t own something which you already own, and ask yourself if you would put an effort to get it again?
It’s important to say no, whenever it isn’t a hell yes! Saying no to the non-essential things in life frees up time and space to the essential few.
It is important to create a mental breathing space in your own place.
Bonus content for our paid readers at the end.
🧘 Essentialism
It is not right to talk about minimalism without talking about essentialism. Too often people are led to believe that minimalism is just decluttering and they miss the whole point.
The key to a simple life is to find out what really matters to us and strip away all the rest. Most of us are too busy and overloaded, and we say yes too much. We end up overflowing our schedules, and we buy all these things, maybe we feel it’s expected of us, or we see other people doing it and we feel that we should be too. We passionately want it all, and this pursuit of more drowns out what matters the most to us.
To live a simpler life, we need to move beyond the belief that everything is important. We need to get into the habit of thinking like an essentialist.
As Greg McKeown puts in his book Essentialism,
A non-essentialist is someone who thinks that pretty much everything is important, and they want to do it all. This non-essentialist thinks that in order for something to be made better, something needs to be added. An essentialist on the other hand, thinks that very few things are important. And they only make time for the vital few, rather than the trivial many. In order for something to be made better, the essentialist thinks that something needs to be taken away.
Thinking like an essentialist helps us distinguish what’s merely okay from what is truly great.
👖 Endowment Effect
To create a simpler life we want wherever possible, to eliminate the non-essentials in order to create space for what matters the most to us.
The problem is we get so attached to the things that we own. In Psychology and Behavioral Economics, the endowment effect is the idea that we value objects and opportunities higher if we already own them versus if we didn't. Because of this we have a hard time letting go of our stuff.
So one way to live more intentionally, is to get into the habit of challenging this endowment effect, by acting as if we didn't already own that thing. So, for example, in deciding what to do with that blue pair of jeans that's at the back of our closet, we could ask ourselves the question: What if I did not already own these jeans? Would I put in an effort to obtain them right now?
This applies not just to possessions, but to our commitments as well. If I didn't have the opportunity to attend this event, would I put in an effort to create the opportunity myself? If the answer is no, it's safe to say that these things aren't essential to us. So we can make more space for the things that are essential, by letting these things go, or by learning to say no.
🙅 Saying No
Getting into the habit of saying no is the most powerful tool in our arsenal, to regaining time and creating a simpler life. When we don't say no, our time bleeds through a million paper cuts, through things like an internet distraction or tidying items we didn't even need in the first place, and social obligations we don't even really want to go to. So when should we say no?
I've been using something that I learned from Greg as well. He says:
If it isn't a hell yes, it's a no.
There's no doubt that saying no is hard. Especially when we're saying no to people. We have a deep rooted desire to be liked, and we don't want to let people down, and we feel guilty when we decline someone's request. But we do forget that denying the request is not the same thing as denying the person. We can still kindly and compassionately thank them for the thought for the invitation, and also firmly say it just isn't possible this time. And this isn't to say that we're saying no relentlessly or just for the sake of saying it, we're just saying no to the non-essentials, to free up time and space, so that we can say a big wholehearted yes, to the essential few.
🪐 Space
Creating space is another key step towards living a simpler life. An off-the-grid cabin in the woods, I feel, is alluring because it provides digital, physical and mental breathing space, that distances us from the stresses of life. So why not create this kind of space in our everyday lives as well. It can be a bit challenging since we now live in a world where our phones are always at our fingertips, something is always competing for our attention. And the non-stop stream of news and fresh content is great, frankly, for whenever there's a dull moment. But this elimination of boredom has also come at a cost. It's taken away precious moments of quiet. Moments of mental breathing space. So instead of habitually reaching for our devices, we might want to nurture the habit of openly welcoming moments of idleness, giving our minds the space to freely wander, and to give ourselves permission to simply be.
Instead of looking for an immediate distraction, we can try to experience what's happening around us. How is the light pouring in through the window? Can we see any steam whisping up and out of our coffee or tea? Is there any tension in our shoulders, neck or jaw? And can we relax them?
🌯 Wrapping Up
When we create mental breathing space and learn to say no, when we eliminate the non-essentials so that we can better focus on the things that are essential and important to us, then we're very much on track to living a simpler life.
Would you look at that?! We didn't even have to escape to a cabin in the woods.
This edition of Hustle Heads was largely inspired by Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism. I learned so much from this one. Greg shares a bunch of tips on how to live a more intentional life. And if you’re like me, struggling with saying no, he's got a bunch of tips in there as well on how to say no very gracefully and compassionately. It's easily become one of my new favorite books. I highly recommend it.
That’s a wrap. Thank you for reading.
Sanjay.
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